Useful links

Make You Feel Better

Write things down instead of trying to remember them.
Pick a place and time to do your worrying. Make it the same place and time. Spend 30 minutes thinking about your concerns and focus on what is really happening - not what might happen.
Know your limitations and let others know them too.

Practise relaxation to reduce the impact of frustrating situations:
1. breathe in slowly, fill up your lungs and try to make your stomach rise,
2. hold your breath for a few seconds, and
3. breathe out slowly; let your stomach go back down.
When irritated find a quiet spot (even if it’s in the loo) and take the time to sit still.
Let yourself cry if you need to.

If feeling rejected - look at what the triggers are (for example a song or a special place) and do something different.
If feeling guilty - work out whose expectations you are trying to meet. Check these expectations are really true and negotiate them if you can’t meet them.
If you are afraid of the future try to focus on the things you can change now. If feeling isolated - consider joining a social group such as a sports, hobbies or sole parents support group.
Try positive self talk, self praise and self encouragement.

Check the way you react to the other person – 60 per cent of your message is sent through your body language e.g. rolling of your eyes in frustration or arms crossed in anger.
Tell friends what you need to maintain their friendship. When together, agree not to discuss or criticise the other person involved in the separation.
If an argument starts, STOP and think - is this helping or making things worse? Agree to meet later after you have had time to consider the options.
Write your frustrations and anger down on paper and throw it away.
Keep things business-like with the other parent, and don’t get into personal issues. Stick to agreed topics.

If your appetite has reduced, eat small portions more often of food that you particularly like.
When you feel and look good, people respond more positively to you.
If you have trouble sleeping try to establish a pre-sleep routine, e.g. washing your face and cleaning your teeth, having a warm drink or listening to soft music.
Try to slowly cut down on stimulants like caffeine, alcohol and cigarettes.
Stretch. Being tense affects your muscles and breathing. Try rolling your shoulders up and back then relax. Inhale deeply as you roll up and exhale as you relax. Repeat this a few times.