Home : Hints and tips to make you feel better

Hints and tips to make you feel better

Have healthier thoughts

  • Write things down instead of trying to remember them.
  • Pick a place and time to do your worrying. Make it the same place and time. Spend 30 minutes thinking about your concerns and focus on what is really happening - not what might happen.
  • Know your limitations and let others know them too.

Balance your moods

  • Practise relaxation to reduce the impact of frustrating situations:
    1. breathe in slowly, fill up your lungs and try to make your stomach rise,
    2. hold your breath for a few seconds, and
    3. breathe out slowly; let your stomach go back down.
  • When irritated find a quiet spot (even if it’s in the loo) and take the time to sit still.
  • Let yourself cry if you need to.

Be positive

  • If feeling rejected - look at what the triggers are (for example a song or a special place) and do something different.
  • If feeling guilty - work out whose expectations you are trying to meet. Check these expectations are really true and negotiate them if you can’t meet them.
  • If you are afraid of the future try to focus on the things you can change now. If feeling isolated - consider joining a social group such as a sports, hobbies or sole parents support group.
  • Try positive self talk, self praise and self encouragement.

Good communication

  • Check the way you react to the other person – 60 per cent of your message is sent through your body language e.g. rolling of your eyes in frustration or arms crossed in anger.
  • Tell friends what you need to maintain their friendship. When together, agree not to discuss or criticise the other person involved in the separation.
  • If an argument starts, STOP and think - is this helping or making things worse? Agree to meet later after you have had time to consider the options.
  • Write your frustrations and anger down on paper and throw it away.
  • Keep things business-like with the other parent, and don’t get into personal issues. Stick to agreed topics.

Look after your body

  • If your appetite has reduced, eat small portions more often of food that you particularly like.
  • When you feel and look good, people respond more positively to you.
  • If you have trouble sleeping try to establish a pre-sleep routine, e.g. washing your face and cleaning your teeth, having a warm drink or listening to soft music.
  • Try to slowly cut down on stimulants like caffeine, alcohol and cigarettes.
  • Stretch. Being tense affects your muscles and breathing. Try rolling your shoulders up and back then relax. Inhale deeply as you roll up and exhale as you relax. Repeat this a few times.